Solitude, Self-Care, and Self-Discovery: A Guide to Happiness Alone

Living abroad or in a new city on your own can be a beautiful but challenging experience, especially when it comes to loneliness. In familiar settings, the festive season often brings family, friends, and a comforting sense of togetherness. But in a new place, you may find yourself celebrating alone, decorating your room to capture that “festive feeling,” yet feeling isolated. Learning to enjoy your own company and finding contentment on your own is an essential skill that can make all the difference, especially when far from home. Here are some ways to embrace this solitude, connect with yourself, and build habits that foster lasting peace and happiness.

1. Embrace Your Environment: Appreciating Where You Are

It is natural to feel frustrated by a new environment that may seem to lack the comforts of home—whether it is the food, the weather, or even the social life. However, finding peace in your new surroundings is vital to maintaining positive mental health. Embrace the city or country you are living in, and stop comparing it to your hometown. If you do not like the food, try learning how to cook your favourite dishes, or locate a restaurant where you can treat yourself occasionally. Is the weather less than ideal? Dress accordingly and make the most of indoor/outdoor activities available in your new city. By accepting the limitations and highlights of your location, you reduce stress and open yourself to new experiences that can bring you joy.

2. Finding Solitude in Public Spaces: Going Out on Your Own

One effective way to build a positive relationship with solitude is by spending time alone in public spaces. Start with a simple coffee date—dress up for yourself, sit down with a book or magazine, and take in the sights and sounds around you. Resist the temptation to distract yourself with your phone; instead, observe and appreciate the environment. Gradually build on this by taking yourself out to lunch or dinner, treating it as a small celebration. This can be intimidating at first, but it is a powerful step toward enjoying your own company, and with time, you may find it deeply satisfying. Remember, if you have moved abroad on your own or to a new city, you already have the courage it takes to make this a rewarding habit.

3. Rekindling Old Passions: Rediscover What Brings You Peace

When you are on your own, it can be easy to fall into routines of work, study, or mindless distractions, but finding joy in activities you genuinely love can be transformative. Reconnect with your favourite pastimes, whether it is painting, reading, writing, cooking, playing an instrument, or another creative outlet. When you have a hobby or activity you enjoy, it can provide calm and fulfilment that does not rely on anyone else’s presence. This activity should ideally be one you can do alone, as it offers a personal sense of accomplishment and a dependable source of joy.

4. Caring for Something Living: The Power of Plants or Pets

If you are looking for a touch of life in your space, consider bringing in an indoor plant or even a small pet (if allowed). Taking care of a living thing creates a subtle but fulfilling sense of purpose. Choose a plant that needs regular care, such as a flowering plant, rather than a low-maintenance cactus. Alternatively, a small fish tank can add life and movement to your room, providing companionship in its own way. Engaging in the gentle responsibility of nurturing something can make your space feel more lively, helping combat feelings of emptiness.

5. Embrace Periods of Loneliness: Learning to Accept Your Feelings

It is important not to run from feelings of loneliness. It may be tempting to fill every spare moment with work, food, or other distractions, but avoiding these feelings will only prolong the discomfort. Instead, acknowledge your feelings and remind yourself that loneliness is a temporary emotion. By facing it rather than burying it, you allow yourself to truly process and ultimately reduce its power. This acceptance is a major step toward genuine contentment.

6. Build a Self-Care Routine that Brings Stability

Maintaining a self-care routine that is personal to you can help create a strong foundation. This could be as simple as preparing healthy meals, practising meditation, journaling, or setting aside time to unwind with a good book. Find what genuinely relaxes and fulfils you. Your self-care routine does not have to be complex—it just needs to bring you peace. By nurturing your physical and emotional well-being, you can create a stable inner life, no matter the external circumstances.

7. Learning to Say "No": Prioritising Your Own Needs

One of the most empowering skills you can develop is the ability to say “no.” Living alone in a new place can create a strong desire to connect, to be included, and to say “yes” to every invitation. While socialising is essential, it is equally important to recognise when saying “yes” might come at the cost of your well-being. You do not need to attend every event or join every plan just to avoid missing out.

Consider what you genuinely enjoy and how much social interaction you need to feel balanced. Declining invitations is not about isolating yourself; it is about setting boundaries that respect your energy and mental health. If you continually push yourself to go out, you may end up relying on these outings to feel fulfilled. Instead, aim to build an inner stability that does not depend on constant social activities. When you prioritise self-care, you will be able to enjoy social interactions more deeply and on your own terms.

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As you navigate the complexities of living alone, remember that solitude does not equate to loneliness. Moving to a new place can be challenging, but learning to enjoy your own company can lead to personal growth and fulfilment you may never have anticipated. Embracing your environment, finding comfort in public solitude, rekindling old hobbies, nurturing life, accepting moments of loneliness, and building a self-care routine can all contribute to a lasting sense of contentment.

It is important to remember that the feeling of loneliness or the longing for family and friends may never fully disappear—and that is completely normal. We are human, and it is natural to experience moments of sadness or occasional breakdowns, especially when navigating life independently. Yet by practising these habits, you build a foundation that makes solitude not only bearable but even enjoyable. These practices help you cultivate a fulfilling life on your own, even if there are moments when you feel overwhelmed or exhausted. Ultimately, learning to cherish your time alone is a powerful way to find balance and peace, transforming loneliness into an enriching experience

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